It's not uncommon to hear from colleagues or clients about being "ghosted" or "iced" - that gut-wrenching experience of being completely ignored or suddenly cut off from all communication without any warning or explanation. Professional or personal ghosting features one of the most devastating psycho-spiritual wounds precisely because it serves to deny the intrinsic connection of people who have an initial synergy beyond the superficial. Then one party unilaterally changes the relational paradigm, leaving an inexplicable absence. And while there is no substitute for professional counseling when feeling sucker-punched by being ghosted, nature therapy can offer a fruitful healing modality. Here's why.
When the experience of absence feels debilitating or deadening, as when a long-time friend ghosts a bestie, it may feel as though the soul is dying - being cut off from the life and energy of that person who was trusted with our own life energy. Professionally, ghosting can serve to make us doubt our intrinsic value and we may become discouraged that our perceptions or our capacity for reading a room are faulty. We might begin to think it was something that we said or didn't say well, that our interpretations of the initial or subsequent conversations were all a mirage, not at all authentic. Or worse - we suspect that we have been duped or misled by someone who was "just being nice." Wondering what went wrong, and replaying those endless tapes, can feel like a death.
When professional ghosting occurs, it is frequently not because of some deficit in one person or even the exchange, but because the retreating party does not have the same investment as the professional who hopes their services will be needed. And personal ghosting can be attributed to one or more of a whole host of issues that have absolutely nothing to do with the person being ghosted.
That being said, nature therapy provides an excellent antidote - and an opportunity to make the transition from "Absencing" to "Presencing." MIT's Presencing Institute (https://presencinginstitute.org/about/) offers a great example of how to lean into postures of full sensorial attention and embodied awareness to bring us back from the "null and void" culture of absencing. The shift from "ego-awareness" to "eco-awareness" is key, in that we feel less isolated and more connected to the whole when our attention is focused on the macrocosm in which we are embedded. Eco-connection leads to strength and resiliency. It hones the skill of reaching out and celebrates the art of presencing.
When we enter an experience of presencing - i.e., activating our full sensory awareness - and immerse ourselves in natural settings, the biological, neuro-physical, and psycho-spiritual facets of our being are recalibrated to the whole, making us feel connected, energized, and healed on a deeply personal level. Nature therapy stimulates the full sensorium, awakens awe, and offers restorative breath exercise while sharpening focus and attention.
Mindful immersion in nature offers a wide range of physical benefits and psychological healing, from lowered BP and heart rate, cortisol, stress and anxiety, to increased immune system resilience through NK (natural killer) cell activity, improved quantity and quality of sleep, less pain and ability to cope with chronic pain, and increased feelings of well-being, gratitude and contentment.
So, if the experience of being ghosted is haunting your imagination and damaging your self-esteem or professional acumen, head out into the wild places or your own backyard to stimulate sensory awareness, creativity, learning, and growth. Dancing with those shadows can be quite enlightening!
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