Grounded Becomes You
Calm is the new attractive. In an over-stimulated, frantically paced, stressed-to-the-max posthuman context, those who exude a Zen-calm energy are at a premium. Saying Yes to the Stress is so posthuman. Constant ON. Pinging, buzzing, beeping, addictive scrolling, fractured attention, and focus span less than a nanosecond. If we can stay grounded, centered, calm, and relaxed, we might seem an anomaly, but it's oh-so-cool, and essential to healthy relationships, life-work-play balance, and managing change.
How do we stay grounded? Centering ourselves is a matter of practice, and it begins with breathwork. It sounds simple, and in theory, it is. It just takes practice and integration. Active, focused breathwork means reducing stress cortisol, relaxing the central nervous system, and re-engaging our full sensorium if we can practice in proximity to Nature. Near the ground, literally.
I walk with people for a living. I walk with them through significant changes in health, in relationship, vocation, financial circumstances, education, and relocation, to name a few.
Change isn't easy. Especially with rapidly-deteriorating geopolitical and environmental change, and anxieties arising from circumstances out of our control, people are prone to "manage" their stress through addictions, binge behaviors, irrational outbursts, physical ailments, or psychological melt-downs. Lack of courtesy. Intimidation. Spewing vitriol. It isn't pretty. Families suffer. Work environments can become toxic. Mostly, a general malaise or even fear-induced paralysis can render us hopeless and impotent.
We need to be grounded in the midst of this maelstrom, reaping the potent effects of Nature therapy for daily living. That's why I walk with people in Nature, literally walk with them through the trees, or near living water, in sunlight, moonlight, spring rains, falling leaves, snowscapes, and many other natural settings. I help them learn the art of listening for Nature's rhythms, Nature's cadence.
The practice of Nature immersion is becoming increasingly essential for health and well-being to manage the stress of change in a posthuman context. Shinrin-Yoku, called "forest bathing" is a way to bring each of our senses to full awareness, to exercise each sense in order to balance over-the-top digital visual stimulus most of us experience daily. Please investigate further or reach out if you would like to experience this amazingly beneficial practice.
For this moment, I'd like to paint a literary portrait of two friends, Curly, whose energy is jumpy and frenetic, and Sandy, whose energy is calm and relaxed. You are going through a life change, and you want to invite one to lunch to reconnect, share, and nurture your friendship. Which one would you invite?
Curly or Sandy?
Curly is somewhat scattered, jumps at every notification on their smart watch, is easily distracted, looking everywhere for a t.v. screen or some digital visual stimulus, ADHD-to-the-max. Sandy rests calmly in the chair, focuses attention completely on you, listening carefully, noticing what is and isn't being said through body language, posture, and facial cues. Curly always seems on edge, nervously checking something, like the next activity or item on the to-do list is more important than this moment with you.
Sandy is utterly present, smiling, laughing, intellectually curious, interested, leaning into the conversation, asking clarifying questions, staying engaged. Curly turns each topic back to self, or one, maybe two favorite perennial topics. Sandy finds a bridge for conversation about your common interests, stays up to date on what interests you and what is new for you. Sandy is also willing to share, and has new interests, too.
In personality, Curly can be hilarious, compassionate and unpredictable. She is often preoccupied, frenzied, has to get something done, or move around a lot to stave off boredom and restlessness. Curly also "crashes" once the initial burst of energy dies, and may appear vacuous and unresponsive to what you might share. She struggles with deeper conversation, though usually light-hearted and sometimes outrageously wild. Curly draws a crowd, while Sandy is more subdued.
Sandy moves more slowly and deliberately, and seems content in the moment. She listens well and keeps the conversation going. Sandy is the tortoise, slow, steady, easy-going, taking it all in. She loves shared laughter and can hold heartache. Sandy works well on a team. She is subtle and alluring, full of random kindness, wildly imaginative, a still-waters-run-deep person. Usually up for an adventure, Sandy also knows how to set boundaries. Her energy feels bright and even-keel, with occasional bursts of exuberance or lingering sadness.
Curly is crazy fun for about 15 minutes, instant laughter for a down day. Curly lights the room upon entry, while Sandy slips in without fanfare, often unnoticed. Sandy is the person you trust with your heart-to-heart conversations. She exudes kindness and calm confidence, while Curly seems fidgety, preoccupied. Although you can rely on both in a pinch, Sandy will stay the course to follow up and check in, while you may not see or hear from Curly until the next activity or immediate need arises. Curly is instant boil. Sandy is slow burning.
Which friend draws you? Which friend are you? Maybe a little bit of both?
Be cool, Curly. Find your breath. If you can channel Sandy, you might get a new lunch invitation and a healthy breather. Grounded becomes you!
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