Lighting a Fire in Heart's Winter

(Audio version)

"Keep the Home Fires burning," he used to say, meaning, "Don't let Love grow cold." Fire claimed the body of my Beloved. Not just the funeral pyre that incinerated his remains. The Primordial Fire, the one that lights the Earth each day at sunrise and melts into the horizon at dusk. Fire can be a metaphor for Love. It was this Fire that claimed him in the end, the Love-Fire.

What is the nature of Fire? It might be called "Fire-ing." It's more a verb than a noun, a reaction, a process. Is it merely a chemical reaction in a mix of incandescent gases? A rapid oxidation combustion process? Ultimately, it's a Mystery, irreducible to tidy definitions from chemistry or physics. An ecology of Fire marks it as a pervasive feature of the natural world, what we all are. Fire is what circumstances make it, and we are sculpted by the same forces of Nature.

Physically, Fire requires four things to exist and thrive - fuel, oxygen, heat, and a chemical chain reaction - the fire tetrahedron. Fire emits light and warmth. It has the capacity to transform matter, and it's hungry. We have to feed it to keep it alive. When wildfires burn savagely, like the rampaging infernos of the West, they destroy homes, families, livelihoods, natural habitat, eco-system integrity, and especially air, water, and soil quality. Fire can overwhelm the wider "We."

Spiritually, Fire ignites. It is a catalyst for reflection, imagination, and creativity. It stokes what we feel inside. When Love or Grief find us, our Heart-Fire feels it. Fire connects us with the natural world. Especially in Spiritual Winter, when our interior Soulscape seems dry and withering, we need Fire to catalyze change, to sculpt our passions and energies for new days, new dreams.

Fire is a Slow Burn for the Soul's detritus. There's a reason human beings experience a profound depth of reflection - even awe - in proximity to Fire. We feel close to a Mystery that is both powerful and dangerous. Nearness to Fire can save us, but total union will destroy everything we are, transforming us into ash to nourish the Earth. In the end, we are Dust, fuel for Fire.

Being near Fire connects us with our Soul, where our deep loves reside. It's why Fire-gazing as a contemplative act is like a "long, loving look at the Real." (Jesuit theologian Walter Burghardt) We see with wide eyes, like children taking everything into our hearts for the very first time. And Fire dispels illusion, a crucible for the grime of cynicism and despair.

Many are lighting candles this time of year in diverse spiritual traditions when the sun sets so early in the evening that it feels like night for much of our waking hours. The enveloping darkness may make us moody, depressed, even fearful or cynical. Lighting a fire can help us focus on light, warmth, and hope. Hannukah candles glow. Advent candles are ablaze. We light one candle, then two as the darkness swells in December. Four candles are lit around an evergreen wreath, or eight for the Hannukah menorah. Our Joy ignites as Winter Solstice, the longest Night, gives way to a Stellar Fermata: a Sacred Pause, when the Sun stands still, reminding us to stop and wonder.

Fire wouldn't glow so brightly without the surrounding Darkness. We have to feed it to feel it. And we have to allow it to breathe. How are we keeping it burning when darkness seems to cover the Earth and our sad, trembling soul?

I am grieving with all those who mourn this December, empty space in my heart's hollow. Every time I light a candle or make a fire for warmth, he is near again, dancing in the mysterious shimmer. I say his name. I welcome him Home, back to Creation, back to the Primordial Flame that dances in spiritual Supernova every day. Brother Sun. Bringing Light to the Earth each morning, warming and transforming Creation, and offering solace for our weary sadness. A Consecration for life's dying and rebirth. A Fire that is Love.

When I light a Fire, I know I dare not draw too near, or cling to the ashes of what has been. Living flame is a legacy best tended with a little space for the Flow of Air, and Sister Water at the ready. But I can get pretty close - close enough to be entranced and to feel warmth. To be recreated. And to rediscover Fire like it's the very first Day.

“Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire.” – (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, "Toward the Future")

(Images courtesy of Laura Weber)