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Understanding the "Soul" of Re-Homing: The Psychology of Home-Buying


When we hear the word "Home," what images, words, phrases, colors, sounds, aromas, and feelings come to mind?


  • "Home is where the heart is."

  • "The green, green grass of home"

  • "Home-base"

  • "Heart(h) and Home"

  • "Home at last!"

  • "There's No Place Like Home."

  • "Keep the home fires burning."

  • "Our home is our fortress."

  • "Aren't we all just walking each other home?"


In case you hadn't guessed, "Home" is a potent word. It stirs the imagination and affect in a way that is primal and sacred. "Ahhhh. Home." It's where the day begins and ends, and for those who work from home, it's where life transpires with each shift of the shadows. For many, "Home" connotes safety, warmth, love, protection, stability, creativity, generativity, familiarity, and comfort. It holds the memories associated with all of life's key moments: birth, death, and everything in between. And it's not just the house. Gorgeous trees, sensuous gardens, abundant shrubs and delicate flowers allure us with the most vibrant colors and aromas of the biosphere, the ones without which human health falters. There's truly no place like home.


So, what do buyers go through when they're looking for a new home? What are the keys to help unlock the soul of homing or re-homing?


  1. Emotional/Psychological "Fit" - First, it must feel right. Often, in their "soul" (>Gk. psuche, L.> psyche, 'soul') home-buyers must feel, at some deep level, connected. They must burrow into that ancient familial taproot that tells them this potential home is like some other sacred, familiar place that once sheltered and sustained them, that held the people and memories they loved. And in moving forward, this will be their place, their safe harbor, a place where the loves of their lives can thrive and grow.

  2. Pressure - Next, it can feel somewhat overwhelming. Change itself is daunting, and remaining in the same place can seem comforting by comparison. The persistent fear that they won't "get it right" by deciding to make an offer - and that they will incur excessive expense, heartache, or insurmountable difficulties is a huge barrier. Significant financial, professional, and personal health is riding on the decision, and few buyers are ready to make such a huge decision hastily. In other words, the fear of "buyer's remorse" keeps many from moving, even when they know it's in their best interest to do so. This fear can be debilitating.

  3. Urgency - The decision is often a high-pressure, fast turn-around prospect. The dilemma: Either act quickly, or lose the potential home of your dreams! There's that feeling of "the one that got away" - and no other subsequent home will ever be good enough by comparison. And, to make matters worse, home-buyers must make this high-stakes decision in a matter of days, sometimes hours. "Take your time" might mean a drive back to your current home, and then - bang! Decide!

Lean on Me - Finding someone we can truly trust to accompany us throughout the process is key. Our realtor often becomes a trusted family friend for this reason. There's that steadying, gentle companion who listens so well, really listens to everything the home-buyer is saying, and sometimes reads between the lines. Buyers require a capable, attentive realtor who takes into consideration the nitty-gritty details of people's homing dreams: location, location, location, budget and financial goals, local market conditions, property values, and potential for ROI, yes! It's not just their market expertise, though. The realtor is also one who can understand that nebulous certain "feeling" of home, absorb the client's home-buying stress, overwhelm, and fears, and transform their anxieties into potent energy for positive change.



Buyers need a realtor who understands the "soul" of moving - the need for a family or an individual to feel their way into a new home with relative comfort, financial confidence, visionary tenacity, and hope for their future. It's a sort of "sixth sense" when a realtor grasps the intangibles and puts the buyers at ease, presents all the available options with measured, objective care, and sees that behind-the-scenes details are taken care of with due diligence and sound ethical agency. The realtor can make all the difference - not just when it comes time to sign on the dotted line, but after the closing, when life begins flowing again. A trustworthy realtor is one who is in it for the long haul - invested in clients' long-term goals and vision. Great realtors will take every opportunity to keep in touch, keep up-to-date, and respond when needed for questions and concerns. It's the quality of relationship that shows up long after the moving is done.


The soul of home-buying is simple: Connect with a realtor you trust for guidance, resources, negotiation and closing. Listen to your innermost self as you explore possibilities of a new home. Let your realtor walk with you through the stress, and tend to the details, so that when the right home is opening before you, you're ready to take that first, fierce step. Then, just make yourself at home!


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